the rain falls
and I stand in it
waiting for it to stop
will it ever?
I wait for the rainbow
but it hasn't come yet
what if it does?
how long will it last?
will it last at all?
or will one raindrop fall
and start the cascade again?
how long
will the cycle last?
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
fixed? 10/26/09
she sits
broken
from the pain
it feels like too much
will no one try to fix her?
does no one care?
she waits
but no one comes
to rescue her
from herself
she knows there's something wrong
but why bother fixing it?
what's the point?
is there one?
about to give up
she searches
and looks up
at You...
broken
from the pain
it feels like too much
will no one try to fix her?
does no one care?
she waits
but no one comes
to rescue her
from herself
she knows there's something wrong
but why bother fixing it?
what's the point?
is there one?
about to give up
she searches
and looks up
at You...
fearless 10/21/09
I wait for it
the pain
the heartache
it is inevitable
bound to come again
but this time
this time I will not be afraid
because I know
You are here
and You don't leave
I am safe
when I am in Your arms
or walking by Your side
there is nothing
nothing
to fear...
the pain
the heartache
it is inevitable
bound to come again
but this time
this time I will not be afraid
because I know
You are here
and You don't leave
I am safe
when I am in Your arms
or walking by Your side
there is nothing
nothing
to fear...
clarity 8/27/09
her head rests
on the tear-stained pillow
as she lays down
hoping
praying
for things to get better
assuming that they won't
because she believes
that she doesn't deserve it
will she ever realize
what Wonders there are
just waiting
for her to find them?
how long
until things are made clear?
on the tear-stained pillow
as she lays down
hoping
praying
for things to get better
assuming that they won't
because she believes
that she doesn't deserve it
will she ever realize
what Wonders there are
just waiting
for her to find them?
how long
until things are made clear?
I am the girl... 7/8/09
I am the girl
who cries for no reason
the one who seems
to bask in her misery
I am the girl who
observes the world
from the outside
the one who watches
the lives of others
I am the girl
who keeps to herself
as best as she can
avoiding the people
who have done all the damage
I am the girl
the wallflower...
who cries for no reason
the one who seems
to bask in her misery
I am the girl who
observes the world
from the outside
the one who watches
the lives of others
I am the girl
who keeps to herself
as best as she can
avoiding the people
who have done all the damage
I am the girl
the wallflower...
facade 7/7/09
this mask
is attached
maybe forever?
a permanent facade
can no one see past?
is it as good as I think?
or
can everyone look
and see straight through?
I know they won't like what they see
all the more reason
to keep it covering myself
covering who I am
my permanent
facade...
is attached
maybe forever?
a permanent facade
can no one see past?
is it as good as I think?
or
can everyone look
and see straight through?
I know they won't like what they see
all the more reason
to keep it covering myself
covering who I am
my permanent
facade...
say 7/6/09
so much more I could have said
should have said?
but instead I walked away
leaving the unsaid behind
keeping it where I prefer:
the unknown
but I begin to wonder
if my preferences
are not for the best
I wonder what
if anything
would come of saying
what I may
what I want to
need to
say...
should have said?
but instead I walked away
leaving the unsaid behind
keeping it where I prefer:
the unknown
but I begin to wonder
if my preferences
are not for the best
I wonder what
if anything
would come of saying
what I may
what I want to
need to
say...
request 7/5/09
'don't grow up too fast'
she said with a teary-eyed smile
and a heartfelt hug
I nodded
promising to try
but that was years ago
and things have now changed
pressures to grow up
become an adult
surround me
I wonder if her request
still stands
did I succeed?
or did the pressure
finally consume me?
she said with a teary-eyed smile
and a heartfelt hug
I nodded
promising to try
but that was years ago
and things have now changed
pressures to grow up
become an adult
surround me
I wonder if her request
still stands
did I succeed?
or did the pressure
finally consume me?
dangers. 6/11/09
which is more dangerous:
climbing or lingering?
jumping or staying put?
doing or not doing?
which is the bigger loss:
pride or opportunity?
safety or chance?
a day or an eternity?
it comes down to one thing:
a choice a simple choice
climb or linger
jump or stay put
do or don't...
climbing or lingering?
jumping or staying put?
doing or not doing?
which is the bigger loss:
pride or opportunity?
safety or chance?
a day or an eternity?
it comes down to one thing:
a choice a simple choice
climb or linger
jump or stay put
do or don't...
simple memories 6/11/09
a memory
a simple memory
can change a person
good or bad
it can make a day
or break a heart
just the mention
of a single memory
can have a lasting effect
one that will influence
forever...
a simple memory
can change a person
good or bad
it can make a day
or break a heart
just the mention
of a single memory
can have a lasting effect
one that will influence
forever...
inspiration 6/9/09
inspriation is hard to find
in a world like today's
with a mindset like mine
I want to change
myself, my life
everything
be something more
more than simply ordinary
something remarkable
extraordinary
but I'm not
I am nothing
if I have no inspiration
so inspire me
change me
take me away...
be my inspiration
in a world like today's
with a mindset like mine
I want to change
myself, my life
everything
be something more
more than simply ordinary
something remarkable
extraordinary
but I'm not
I am nothing
if I have no inspiration
so inspire me
change me
take me away...
be my inspiration
things like these 3/17/09
things like these
make me wish to be younger
things like these
make me wish to be older
days like today
make me wish i was better
days like today
make me want to be good enough
people like you
make me see all my flaws
people like you
make me want to change
creators like Him
make me see that i'm perfect
creators like Him
make me better than good enough
better than good enough
for things like these
make me wish to be younger
things like these
make me wish to be older
days like today
make me wish i was better
days like today
make me want to be good enough
people like you
make me see all my flaws
people like you
make me want to change
creators like Him
make me see that i'm perfect
creators like Him
make me better than good enough
better than good enough
for things like these
REPLACED. 3/15/09
you abandoned me
i cried
you came back
i was thrilled
for the time being
but you abandoned me
again
and again
until i stopped trying
to get you to come back
but you came back again
and i was happy
but extremely cautious
not wanting to hurt again
expecting the pain
and it came again
when you abandoned me.
the cycle continued
until
you replaced me
and now
i must try to move on
i must replace you...
i cried
you came back
i was thrilled
for the time being
but you abandoned me
again
and again
until i stopped trying
to get you to come back
but you came back again
and i was happy
but extremely cautious
not wanting to hurt again
expecting the pain
and it came again
when you abandoned me.
the cycle continued
until
you replaced me
and now
i must try to move on
i must replace you...
ABOVE. 2/18/09
I am falling
ever falling it seems
away from You
nothing I do pulls me back
and I can't figure out why
I know it's all Your doing
and I'm trying to go with it
but it's hard
and I fall away
I want to come back
and be Yours
only Yours
I don't want to be held back
by these worldly things
can You help me rise above
will You please?
ever falling it seems
away from You
nothing I do pulls me back
and I can't figure out why
I know it's all Your doing
and I'm trying to go with it
but it's hard
and I fall away
I want to come back
and be Yours
only Yours
I don't want to be held back
by these worldly things
can You help me rise above
will You please?
beyond. 2/17/09
when I stumble
You are there to pick me up
if I stray from Your path
You are there to lead me back
no matter how hard I fall
no matter how far I wander
You are always there
ready to help
ready to lend Your mighty hand
so as I come back today
I know it isn't really my doing
I didn't choose You
You chose me
before I was born
and You lead me from my creation
and you will continue to lead me
to the grave
and beyond
so far beyond.
You are there to pick me up
if I stray from Your path
You are there to lead me back
no matter how hard I fall
no matter how far I wander
You are always there
ready to help
ready to lend Your mighty hand
so as I come back today
I know it isn't really my doing
I didn't choose You
You chose me
before I was born
and You lead me from my creation
and you will continue to lead me
to the grave
and beyond
so far beyond.
something to grasp 2/8/09
yesterday
I was grasping at straws
and coming up empty
so I asked for Your help
not knowing what to expect
not really expecting anything
at least not this much
todayI have asked for Your help
and it came
in a bigger, better way than I could ever have imagined
I no longer long for other things
for I know that You are the answer
You are the only answer
among sadness, anger, and disappointment
I will turn to You
and only You
because while I don't know where I am headed
today or tomorrow
I know where my journey will end
as long as I let You lead
so I am asking You to lead
please.
I was grasping at straws
and coming up empty
so I asked for Your help
not knowing what to expect
not really expecting anything
at least not this much
todayI have asked for Your help
and it came
in a bigger, better way than I could ever have imagined
I no longer long for other things
for I know that You are the answer
You are the only answer
among sadness, anger, and disappointment
I will turn to You
and only You
because while I don't know where I am headed
today or tomorrow
I know where my journey will end
as long as I let You lead
so I am asking You to lead
please.
Searching for a Memory. 2/2/09
Sometimes, I feel as if I will never remember what a shooting star looks like
I try to think back, but all I remember is the excitement; the emotion
I think harder
I remember the smell of the wood burning in the middle of the fire ring
I remember the chill of the late night
And I remember the feeling of the ground beneath my back
As I lay there, looking up
Up to the heavens, I suppose
On that night when they opened up, and the stars rained down
I remember how exciting the stars became
Each one a new discovery
And yet, as the stars get farther away in memory
I find it more and more difficult to find a picture
A picture in my head, that's all
But I can't find it
So I'll search on.
I try to think back, but all I remember is the excitement; the emotion
I think harder
I remember the smell of the wood burning in the middle of the fire ring
I remember the chill of the late night
And I remember the feeling of the ground beneath my back
As I lay there, looking up
Up to the heavens, I suppose
On that night when they opened up, and the stars rained down
I remember how exciting the stars became
Each one a new discovery
And yet, as the stars get farther away in memory
I find it more and more difficult to find a picture
A picture in my head, that's all
But I can't find it
So I'll search on.
Am I in tune? 1/31/09
I hear Your song playing
I love it so much
but if I were to try and play along
would I be in tune?
would I be able to play the melodies?
it sounds simple enough, but is it really?
nothing es ever as easy as it seems
right?
or is it possible that with a little instruction from the Director
I could play along with everyone else?
is it as simple as that?
just asking for help
is that all it would take for me to play with the rest of Your band?
can I play in Your band?
I love it so much
but if I were to try and play along
would I be in tune?
would I be able to play the melodies?
it sounds simple enough, but is it really?
nothing es ever as easy as it seems
right?
or is it possible that with a little instruction from the Director
I could play along with everyone else?
is it as simple as that?
just asking for help
is that all it would take for me to play with the rest of Your band?
can I play in Your band?
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